


Is It You Cas?

by Nerdgirl001



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Highschool AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2394446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdgirl001/pseuds/Nerdgirl001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester never made it out of one of his early hunts and Sam and Dean try to grow up leading a 'normal' life until the angels get involved. <br/>**This fic is of Young!Dean and Young!Sam**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scraping By

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think and give me lots of comments, I'd really appreciate it!  
> Also this work was inspired by Isityoucas on Tumblr! (Happy Birthday love<3)

Dean pulled open the cabinets again, there was nothing. He knew that there was nothing, he had checked many times in the past hour with the feverish hope that something had appeared. "Deeaann..." Sammy called from the bed he had been stuck in for the past two days.  
"I'm hungry." Sam whined. Dean sighed, 'give him a break' he reminded himself, 'the poor kid's sick and he doesn't know.' Dean pulled two slices of bread out of the package and placed them on a plate. He walked back out to Sammy and handed him the plate. Sam groaned, "bread again? Dean I'm well enough to keep down more than this now!"  
Dean sighed, "later, okay? If you keep this down then you can eat something more... Filling." Dean grabbed his hoodie and walked towards the door.  
"Hey! Wait, where are you going?" Sam called after Dean.  
"Out." Dean spoke then shut the door behind him. He always felt bad leaving Sam alone, but he had to do something. He walked for a few miles along the highway until he found a supermarket that was a ways away from the hotel. He rummaged through his pockets once more to make sure that there was nothing there. He walked down the aisles until he was sure that he knew where each employee was and that he was in a place that they wouldn't see him. He was in the only aisle that he could easily slip items into his jacket without an employee finding him. He grabbed what he could, it wasn't much, but it was enough not to look too strange under his jacket. The loss of weight allowed him to fill his jacket a little more than he should have. Carefully he walked out of the store and turned the corner before he broke into a run. His run, however, did not last very long as as soon as he turned the corner he ran straight into an employee of the store returning from lunch. As they collided instant noodles, cough medicine, and a package of Jerky flew out from Dean's jacket ad spread across the sidewalk. The woman stumbled back from Dean and looked at him accusingly.  
"Did you steal this from the store?" She asked angrily. Dean froze, unsure what to say. "Well?" The woman prompted.  
"Y-yes ma'am. But I only stole because of my brother! I'm sorry, but he's very sick and he has nothing to eat..." Dean felt hot tears begin to fall down his cheeks.  
"Where are your parents?" The woman asked with a little less of a harsh tone. Dean shrugged and tried to stop himself from sobbing. The woman tilted her head and watched the sobbing boy in front of her. "Here" She said grabbing a twenty dollar bill from her wallet and handing it to Dean. "If you take this you have to promise that you won't steal again. Find another way." The woman picked herself up after Dean grabbed the money and then she walked quickly away. Dean hurriedly grabbed the food and medicine and ran back towards the hotel.  
\---  
Sammy sat on his bed fuming, and this time, it wasn't because of the fever. Dean had left again. He kept leaving. Sam wondered where he had wondered off to this time. What would he come back smelling like he wondered, alcohol? Cigarettes? Blood? Sam wished that it was fast food. What he wouldn't give for a hamburger, he thought as he finished the bread that Dean had brought him. He sat up and his stomach growled. He carefully got out of bed and walked towards the small kitchen area that was separated from the rest of the room by one flimsy wall with peeling paint. He walked over to the fridge and opened it. To his surprise, he found nothing. He opened all the cabinets to find that the only food that they had was a bag containing four pieces of bread. Sam was confused, he knew that their dad was a week late, but this often happened and Dean always had extra money to get them food. 'What on earth did he spend it on this time?' Sammy angrily thought. He closed all the cabinets and walked back towards the beds. He reached Dean's suitcase and pulled it open, expecting to find cigarettes or alcohol, but found nothing but clothes. Sam closed the suitcase and sighed. He pulled himself up from the ground where he had been sitting, and he walked back towards his bed. Once he got there he collapsed onto it, his forehead suddenly covered with sweat and he felt like he was going to pass out or throw up or maybe even both. He shivered and dove under the blankets. 'Where is he?' Sam growled to himself.  
\---  
An hour later Dean burst into the room and quickly shut the door behind him. Sam jumped awake at the loud noise and looked at Dean. "Have you eaten anything in the last few days?" Sam accused. Dean shrugged him off and walked into the kitchen. "Dean?!" Sam exclaimed.  
"What" Dean replied quietly.  
"You look like you haven't eaten in a few days; I don't know why I haven't noticed." Sam argued.  
"I'm fine. I've been eating." Dean said.  
"Not as much as I've had huh?" Sam worried.  
"No." Dean assented, "but enough." He pulled out the package of jerky and the cough medicine and walked back out to the beds. "Here" He said handing Sam the medicine. Sam took it and read the directions, then proceeded to drink two tablespoons of it and placed it by his bed. Dean handed him the package of jerky. "I think I'm gonna call dad." He said quietly.  
"What?" Sam asked incredulously, "why? You know he'd be angry with you if you called and there was nothing life-threateningly wrong!"  
"I know." Dean said quietly, "but I want to make sure that everything is okay, he's been gone for three weeks now." Sam didn't understand why Dean always did this, he would get worried if their father was five days late, then after a week he would get upset and call and when John would pick up if there was nothing life-threatening then he would yell at Dean and 'teach him a lesson' when he got back. Sam just shrugged and lay back into his bed, he was too tired to argue with Dean at the moment so he just let it go. Dean took Sam's lack of argument as the okay to call John and walked away from Sam a bit and pulled out his phone. He carefully typed out John's number, the one set aside especially for family to call, into his phone.  
He hit call and put the phone up to his ear, "you have reached John Winchester, this is most likely Dean, so if it's not life threatening don't call back, I'm probably too busy to answer at the moment." Dean hung up the phone.  
He turned to Sam and worriedly explained, "he didn't answer."  
Sam looked up shocked, "what do you mean he didn't answer? Like, not at all?" Dean nodded, his cheeks began to fade to a very pale color. "Are you going to try his... Other one?" Sam nervously asked. He knew the risk of calling John's other phone, that phone was only used for emergencies, and John enforced that rule.  
"I don't know." Dean paused, "maybe I'll just wait a few hours, last time he called back after an hour." Dean was trying not to worry, but this time it felt like something was mortally wrong.


	2. Break

Dean sat up all night watching Sam. He had a fever of 100 degrees for three hours until it finally broke. Sam was tossing and turning and throwing up every few hours. Dean began to sing to him to try to calm him down, "carry on my sickly brother, you'll find peace when you're a-sleep, lay your sleepy head to rest, don't you fight no more." He began to hum the guitar solo and Sam jokingly punched Dean's arm at the parody he was making up on the spot. "Once you rose above 100 degrees, just to get some medicine fo-or you-u, I was stealing from a sto-ore, and I was almost caught. Though you're sti-ill up your as tired as ever, though you're punching me you sti-ill love me. If you hear the voices when you're dreaming, I won't think you-are sane!" Sammy began to laugh and soon fell into sleep. As the sun came up Dean checked his phone, nothing. His father hadn't called him back. Dean clicked the phone closed and rubbed his eyes. Sam was fast asleep finally. Dean got up and groaned as his tired muscles began to stretch. He plopped down into his bed and pulled the covers up around him. He closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep when he heard a slight ringing and something moving over the sheets. He reached down and wrapped his fingers around his phone. He pulled it open and pushed it towards his ear, "hello?" He asked quietly.  
"Is this Dean Winchester?" came a shaky yet rough voice. Dean checked the number again, it was definitely John's.  
"Who is this?" Dean asked.  
"This is Rufus son, are you Dean Winchester?" The voice came back regaining its stability.  
"Y-yes?" Dean responded.  
"Are you sure? You don't sound very sure." Rufus said in a now slightly gruff and annoyed tone.  
"I'm sure. But may I ask, this is my dad's phone, why do you have it? He's okay right?" Dean had walked into the bathroom while saying this and locked himself in in order to not disturb Sam while he slept.  
"Well son. I hate to tell you this." Rufus sighed, "your father's hurt real badly."  
Dean's heart stopped beating for a moment, "will he... Survive?" Dean hesitated.  
Rufus went silent for a while then he finally spoke, "I'm so sorry," was all he could get out.  
Dean began to quietly sob, but the worst part was that part of him actually felt relieved. He soon pushed that relief far beneath the surface. "This can't be happening. He promised us he would be fine." Dean sobbed, feeling more and more selfish as a mix of emotions flooded his senses. He was shaking and sobbing and became too weak to hold himself up. He slumped over onto the bathroom floor.  
"Son?" Rufus's voice came through in a small apologetic tone, "your father would like to speak to you for a moment if he could."  
Dean's loud sobs subsided quickly and he choked down the rest of which were climbing up his throat, "okay." He said in a shaky, yet mildly calm, voice. He heard a slight ruffle as Rufus held the phone to John's ear.  
"Dean?" Came his father's weak voice echoing through the phone.  
"Yes dad?" Dean said now making a painfully conscious effort to not sob again.  
"Dean. I ne- I need to tell you something."  
"Go ahead dad, I'm listening."  
"Take care of Sammy."  
"Dad, of course I wi-"  
"No, listen to me. Dean, you need to save Sam."  
"From what dad?"  
"From himself."  
"I don't understand."  
"Dean, save your brother, pull him from the darkness; keep him from the dark side. And if you can't do that-"  
"I can, I will."  
"Dean" John interrupted forcefully "if you can't do that. You promise me that you will kill your brother."  
Dean froze.  
"Dean?"  
"Dad, I- I can't- why would I do that?"  
"Because I told you to, Promise me Dean."  
"I- I promise." Dean finally assented.  
"Good."  
"But dad, how do I save him?"  
"If you don't know that when the time comes, then he is already lost."  
"Dad! Please, I need help."  
"No. Just this once I need you to figure this out on your own. I'm not going to be there to hold your hand every step of the way anymore."  
Dean didn't know what to say. John all at once gasped for air. "I love you dad!" Dean yelled, but he would never know if his father heard him, as the phone cut out. He called back but the number was unavailable. Dean threw his phone across the room; it hit the door and bounced off onto a towel that was spread out on the floor. Dean sat there, head in his hands, trying to think of what he should do. Should he call Bobby? Ellen? Rufus again? Should he tell Sam? His whole world crashed around this question. It all fell apart around him until he was alone, alone on a raft of questions slowly filling with the holes poked into his reality. He was drowning. Drowning in questions and salty tears. He felt hopeless, helpless. There was nothing he could do. His father was dying and there was nothing he could do.


	3. Awaken

Dean lay there for hours. He felt hopeless. He was helpless. The slight feeling of relief crept up into him again. He pushed it away and pulled himself together a bit more. He shakily stood up and turned on the cold tap in the sink. He splashed as much water into his face as he could until the feeling of drowning went away. He dried his face and hair and unlocked the door to the bathroom. He looked into the mirror before he left, his eyes were unmistakably puffy and the top of his shirt was drenched in tap water and tears. He bent down and grabbed his phone. He walked out toward his suit case and pulled it open. Quickly he changed shirts and pulled everything back into his suit case. Once he was done with this, he grabbed Sammy's and began to do the same thing. His father's words began to echo through his mind, 'save your brother, pull him from the darkness; keep him from the dark side. And if you can't do that- if you can't do that you promise me that you will kill your brother.' Dean flinched at the thought. How could he kill Sammy? How could his father even ask this of him? Something moving out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Sam. Sam was tossing and turning again, Dean smiled, "I'm gonna have to save you." Dean whispered to Sam.  
\---  
Dean finally had gotten all the tears to stop flowing down his face. He sat quietly and watched as Sam peacefully slept. When he had gone to bed all was well. When he had gone to bed all had been fine. He didn't know any different yet. He didn't know that he'd never see his father again. He didn't know. Dean wanted to scream out that it wasn't fair for Sam. He contemplated not telling him, it was feasible that John hadn't called back all night. Sam would believe him. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't lie about something so big to Sam. What were they supposed to do? Dean decided that instead of moping around Sam and wishing that he didn't have to know he should do something. He had a few numbers in his phone to call in a situation like this. He grabbed his phone and a key card and walked into the dusky morning air. The parking lot was empty, Dean pulled out his phone and began to go down the list of contacts, 'Bobby' he hit call and pulled the phone to his ear.  
"Hello?" A rough and familiar voice moved through the phone almost instantly.  
"Bobby?" Dean asked hesitantly, he had only met Bobby a few times that he remembered now; he and John had had some big fight and decided to not talk to each other.  
"Yeah, this is Bobby. And who is this idgit callin' me?" Bobby asked.  
"This is Dean." The line was quiet for a second.  
"Now, I know your father and he wouldn't allow you to call me unless somethin' was really wrong. So what is it?" Bobby's voice sounded a bit more calming now.  
"Da-" Dean cleared his throat, "dad's dea-" Dean forced down the sobs that were forcing their way up his throat and sighed quietly, "dead." The other end went silent. "Hello?" Dean asked, needing something to show him that things would turn out okay.  
"I'm sorry son. Do you know how? Or anything about the case?" Bobby finally asked.  
"No." Then after a second Dean realized that he did know something, "Well, he was working with a guy called Rufus."  
"Rufus?" Bobby sounded almost guilty, "are you sure?"  
"Mmhmm" Dean agreed.  
"Okay, I guess I'll call him then." Bobby said reluctantly.  
"Wait!" Dean almost shouted into the phone.  
"What! What?!" Dean could almost hear Bobby jump.  
"What are we supposed to do?"  
"What?"  
"What are we supposed to do?! You know me and Sam? We haven't had enough money to buy food for a week and we have to get out of the hotel by noon today!" Dean checked his watch, '10:43' he had to wake Sam soon.  
"Oh. Well, uh, I suppose you can live with me for a little while, I'll send ya to Ellen's while I'm hunting." Bobby said as if he had already assumed that Dean knew that plan.  
"Are you sure?" Dean asked, not wanting to intrude into Bobby's life.  
"Sure, I miss you boys anyways, I hated that John and I's arguments ruined our chances of seein' each other. Plus it gets lonely up here by myself. Where are you boys? I'll come pick you up." Bobby said pleasantly.  
"Umm, we're in the longhorn hotel in a town called Byers in Colorado." Dean said.  
"I'm on my way. Just stay in that town alright? I'll be there by sundown." Bobby reassured Dean.  
"Okay. Thanks Bobby." Dean responded then hung up. He checked his watch, '11:04' it was time. Sam needed sometime to wake up before they left. Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and was surprised by a loud crinkling noise. He pulled out the paper that was in his pocket and looked at it. It was the twenty dollar bill that woman had given him. Dean almost smiled, or at least came as close as he had to smiling in twenty four hours. He shoved it back into his pocket and turned the key to the hotel room door. He sighed heavily and pushed it open. Slowly he walked into the room and towards the beds. He watched Sam's face, trying to memorize his happy and peaceful expression before it all changed, before he messed it all up. "I should have called him again. Made sure he was safe. Made sure he remembered what he had to come home to. I'm sorry." Dean whispered to Sam's sleeping body. He carefully sat on the edge of Sam's bed and took a deep breath, "Sam." Dean called in a low soothing voice, "Sam." He repeated a little louder. Sam shifted in bed and Dean placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Sammy?" Dean asked as Sam began to look up at Dean.  
"Mmmh?" Sam groaned as he opened his eyes to the mid-day sun. "What is it? Is dad back?" Sam fully opened his eyes and sat up a little, "what's that face for?" He asked at Dean's sour and almost upset expression.  
"Sam. I'm- I'm so sorry." Dean said obviously choking down tears.  
"Dean?" Sam asked, his heart beginning to beat a little faster and his head beginning to spin from the realization he was yet to have.  
"Dad, well, dad's dead." Dean said with a little remorse in his tone.


	4. Waiting

"What?!" Sam said as tears began to cloud his eyes.  
"I'm sorry." Dean was staring intently at the floor.  
"What do you mean he's dead?! He can't be gone; you promised he'd be fine!" Sammy yelled at Dean.  
Dean took a deep breath and turned away, he wiped tears away from his eyes the best he could, and kept his back turned away from Sam. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he chanted over and over again. Sam slid out of bed and walked towards Dean, he placed his hand on Dean's back and felt a shudder of a sob rush through his older brother. He decided, he pushed his way around to the front of Dean and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm so sorry." Dean said again and pulled Sam in close to him. They released each other a minute later and took a small step back. Sam saw tears falling down Dean's face. He hadn't seen Dean cry in longer than he could remember. Sam thought back to the last time he had seen tears in Dean's eyes, it was what seemed like a lifetime ago, yet it couldn't have been too long ago. Sam had no idea what had happened, only what he had seen; Dean had come home from school happy that day, he told John that there was something that he wanted to tell him, they went into the study, there was some yelling, and Dean left the room not crying, but with tears beginning to slip down into the crevices of his eyes. Sam snapped back to reality when he realized that Dean had said something and was waiting for an answer as he pushed the tears out of his eyes.  
"What did you say?" Sam asked quietly.   
"Dude, seriously you didn't hear me? Are you okay?" Dean asked looking worriedly to his little brother.  
"No. Of course I'm not okay. But my mind wandered off for a second and I missed what you said, sorry." Sam explained.  
"I asked if you were ready to leave. Bobby's picking us up tonight, but we have to be out of this room by noon, or in" he checked his watch, "fifteen minutes." He finished.  
"Oh, yeah. Sure." Sam said looking around to find that his suitcase was already packed up.  
Dean shook his head then grabbed the two suitcases, "wanna do a final sweep? Make sure there is nothing I forgot?" Dean asked. Sam nodded and began to walk around the room and search the drawers and cupboards. Dean walked out of the room with the keys and their belongings. When he returned he found Sam standing outside of the room, leaning against the door. "Sammy?" Dean asked gently as he walked up to the door.  
"What." Sam said trying to keep his face turned away from Dean.  
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, not fooled by the 'I'm fine' act.  
Sam sighed, "look Dean. I'm not like you. I can't just accept that dad's dead and move on so quickly. I need some time to grieve." Sam said like he was ashamed of it.  
Dean walked closer to Sam and set down the suitcases on either side of him. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Sam, "I know little brother. I know. And listen," Dean said setting Sam back down, "I am just better at keeping my emotions in. And you know how I hate chick-flick moments, but it's not good to do that, okay? It's good that you still need time to grieve. It only means that you're human. Not any weaker or less developed, but actually stronger." Dean wrapped Sam in his arms once more. Sam pushed his cheek into the comforting feel of Dean's leather jacket. "Take your time Sammy. I'll protect you in the meantime. I'll always protect you."  
"Thank you." Sam muffled through Dean's jacket.  
\---  
Dean walked into the convenience store across the road from the hotel. He had twenty dollars, and only one day to feed them. Things were almost looking up, if you forgot the past. Dean strode in and grabbed enough food for the two of them for the whole day, careful to keep a count in his head of what this all was going to cost. He had a little left over once he added in tax so he decided to grab one of Sam's favorite candies, a box of Andy's mints. He took it all up to the register and smiled a little to himself when the total came out to be exactly what he thought it would, $19.48. He paid and grabbed his change and bags. He walked out of the store and saw Sam exactly where he left him, sitting on the suitcases outside the door. Dean smiled, 'he's such a good kid.' His smile faded as he thought of all the terrible things that Sam had been through. He didn't deserve it. It would be different from now on. Dean would make sure of that.  
\---  
Six hours later they were still in town. They sat under the shade of the only tree they saw for miles. Dean was listening to his music and Sam was watching the squirrels chase each other. "What was that?!" Sam said suddenly and pointed to the corner of the convenience store.  
Dean pulled at his ear buds until they fell to his side. "What?" He said, annoyed that his music was interrupted.  
"Did you see that shadow?" Sam asked still pointing toward the store. Dean shook his head, but stood anyway. He knew that Sam had good reflexes and he would trust them. He walked slowly over to the corner and slid his hand nonchalantly into his pocket placing his hand on his gun. He reached the corner and stopped. He looked back to Sam for a second who was still under the tree. He smiled and quickly turned the corner and pulled his gun on... There was nothing there. Carefully he surveyed the small area around himself and eventually gave up.  
He began to walk back to Sam with a shrug, "didn't see anything..." Dean called back to Sam.  
"I'm sorry Dean; I really thought something was there." Sam said still eyeing the building.  
"It's o-" Dean was cut off by his phone ringing in his pocket. "Oh I gotta take this" and with that he opened the phone and slowly began to walk in a circle around the tree kicking rocks out of his way. "Hello?"  
Sam picked up Dean's iPod and looked at the song that it had been playing. 'Cherry pie' he should have guessed. He laughed to himself and set it back down, turning instead to hear what he could of Dean's conversation.  
"-ess we're okay."  
"That's fine."  
Dean paused and looked up at Sam, he smiled.  
"Yeah, I think we'll be okay."  
"How far?!"  
"So when do you think you'll get here?"  
"Yeah. Sure. We'll be right here."  
And with that, Dean hung up the phone and huffed a little.  
"Was that Bobby?" Sam asked looking up to Dean with hopeful eyes.  
"Yeah." Dean replied curtly.  
"Well?" Sam asked as Dean sat back down.  
"He's gonna be a few more hours." Dean sighed. Sam shrugged and pulled out a book of Sudoku puzzles that someone had left in their hotel room.


	5. Going Home

Two hours later Dean and Sam finally stood up and stretched their tired aching bodies just as a truck pulled up to the curb. Bobby got out and walked over to them, "wow, you boys have grown since I last saw you!" Dean noticed that Bobby was even tearing up slightly, "come 'ere, I miss you boys!" Bobby grabbed Dean and Sam and pulled them into a hug. Once he released them he grabbed their suitcases and threw them into the trunk of the truck. He climbed into the driver’s seat and motioned for them to get in. Dean and Sam glanced at each other, they weren't sure how they felt about trusting a man that they barely knew, but it didn't seem that they had much of a choice, so they climbed in. Dean made sure to take the middle seat in case things started to go south so that he'd be sure that Sammy escaped. Plus Sam liked to look out the side window more anyways. Dean would focus on where they were headed. "You gettin in?" Bobby asked Dean didn't know what he meant until he turned and saw Sam staring at something off in the distance.  
"Sam!?" Dean yelled and Sam snapped back to attention, he apologetically climbed into the car.  
"Let's go!" Bobby said cheerfully, unaware of the sideways glances going on to his right, and with that, they sped off.  
\---  
Dean fought off sleep as much as he could. He hadn't slept in days, he was so tired... But he had to stay awake; he didn't know Bobby too well, he wasn't even sure if this was him. So Dean had to stay awake. Dean had to keep Sam safe. Sam meanwhile was silently snoring with his head resting on the window.  
"So how old are you boys now?" Bobby asked Dean quietly.  
"I'm sixteen." He paused and yawned, "He's twelve." Dean curtly responded. Bobby pulled off the road. "What are you doing?" Dean asked cautiously. Bobby reached behind him and grabbed a knife out of a bag in the back. "Whoa there, just what exactly are you planning to-" Dean stopped when he saw Bobby run the blade along his arm.  
"Silver." He said before reaching back again and grabbing two flasks, "holy water." He said and took a swig from one, then handed it to Dean for his to make sure it was holy water. "Salt." He poured a small mound of salt into his palm and rubbed it around his palms before he licked some of it off his hand. "Now can you stop being so tense and just maybe get some sleep?!" Bobby said frustrated.  
Dean smiled; this was the Bobby that he remembered, "Yes sir."  
\---  
Dean was walking slowly through a house. There was no one there, but the house still creaked when he wasn't moving. Dean grabbed out his gun and held it up. He began to search the house, but couldn't find any sign of life anywhere. He let his guard fall a bit when he could sense someone behind him. He had no weapons, but still had to think fast. He turned around and sighed in relief, "dad." He said with a smile on his face. There was something wrong here. John looked at Dean, an evil smile spreading across his face. Dean raised his gun slightly. John's eyes flicked black "daddy's dead!" He said with almost a laugh behind his features as he lunged at Dean. John started to choke Dean. Slowly pulling the life out of him. "Just this once I can't hold your hand!"  
Dean jumped awake.  
"Bad dream?" Bobby asked and stole a side-ways glance at Dean.  
Dean rubbed the drool from the edge of his mouth, "no."  
"Oh, so that's just how you wake up is it?" Bobby asked sarcastically.  
"No." Dean responded quietly.  
"So what was that about?" Bobby asked again.  
"Doesn't matter." Dean replied quietly. Bobby wanted to push Dean into telling him, but he knew that he hadn't earned Dean's trust fully yet. Dean knew that Bobby wasn't anything supernatural, but even humans can be monsters. Bobby turned up the music a little although Sam was still sleeping. Dean wiped the sweat from his forehead and sat up a little bit. He looked around to see where they were, but he didn't recognize any of it. He looked toward Bobby, there were dark circles under his eyes, Dean realized that Bobby had driven all of the previous day, and hadn't stopped for the night before turning back around and heading home. "Hey Bobby?" Dean asked quietly.  
"Yes?" Bobby responded while suppressing a yawn.  
"Do you want me to take a turn driving?" Dean looked up into Bobby's tired face and saw a bit of relief come across it.  
"You wouldn't mind?" He asked hopefully. Dean shook his head. Bobby smiled and pulled over. They both got out of the car through the Driver's side door and switched places.  
Dean started the car and got back onto the almost empty highway. "So where are we?" Dean asked.  
"Deep into Nebraska. We are on 76 east, just follow this road, you will merge onto 80 east in about ninety miles. After that tell me once you merge into 83 North Platte. Then I'll take back the wheel. Are you good to drive for three hours?" Bobby asked.  
"Sure." Dean said while trying to keep the directions in his head. '76 to 80 to 83', '76 to 80 to 83' Dean chanted over and over again in his head. Bobby quickly slipped down into sleep and Dean was alone. Neither of the two sitting next to him made a sound. Soundless sleeping was something that they all had to learn, also the ability to wake up without letting others know that you were awake. This was used as much for other hunters as it was for monsters, at least in Dean's experience. Something off to the side of the road caught Dean's eye. A glint if metal. Not just metal, Dean stole a glance again, a knife. And black smoke. Dean shook his head. It all disappeared. Dean was beginning to worry now as he turned his attention back to the road. He had sort of drifted into the other lane a bit while he was distracted, but luckily there was no one else on this highway. Dean got back into his lane and concentrated on the road. He had driven long boring stretches of highway plenty of times in his life, even before he had his license. John hadn't even known that Dean had his license. He got it just a few weeks prior when they were dumped off in a town with a DMV. It had cost twenty dollars, but it was worth it. Dean had made a plan to get away from John a little while ago. Once again that feeling of relief welled up inside him. He hated himself for it. Dean suppressed the urge to smile, he was a horrible person, he was sure of it. Plus every time John had come back Dean had felt too helpless to leave. He needed John. Dean could feel a tear streak across his cheek, like a shooting star come to deliver a wish, a wish of caring that his father was dead.


	6. A Reunion

"This is it boys. Welcome to your new home." Bobby said proudly as they pulled up to Singer Auto. Dean smiled; he was remembering this all now. Bobby lived in a car repair shop. Bobby and Sam climbed out of the car on either side of Dean. Dean sighed almost happily and got out himself. He walked slowly towards the building once he grabbed his and Sam's suitcases. Memories flooded him. Before the big argument John had dumped Sam and Dean off here quite often. This is where Dean learned his love for cars. All of a sudden he felt his heart stop. He stopped walking. He stood there for a moment. Watching his shoes. Feeling like he was going to die. "Dean? Are you alright?" Bobby asked with concern filling his voice.  
"The- the impala." Dean said quietly.   
"What?" Bobby asked as he walked closer to Dean.  
"The impala." Dean said more forcefully. "Dad had it. Do you think-?" Dean cut off unable to say what he was thinking.  
Bobby laughed a little, "I'll have Rufus bring it over. It can be your car."  
Dean looked up, his heart was now pumping faster than normal. "Mine?" Dean said, his eyes sparkling in the mid-day sun. Bobby nodded with a huge smile spread across his cheeks. He patted Dean on the back and walked back inside. Dean couldn't help but smile, a real smile, not one that had been forced onto his cheeks. He didn't know the last time he had truly smiled. Sometimes he thought that he had forgotten how. He followed his brother and uncle Bobby into the house wearing his smile with pride.  
\---  
"Follow me" Bobby instructed when both the boys were in the house. He lead them upstairs, the dark wooden stairs creaked silently under their feet as the ascended the staircase. Once they reached the top they saw a rather short hallway full of doors covering the mystery of their lives after this point. What would await them behind this door? Dean wondered as he heard, "Sam this will be your room." As the second door to the right swung open Dean and Sam looked in and saw a familiar scene. This was the room that they had shared when they would come here before. There was a plush twin sized bed to the left, a small yet seemingly spacious desk in the space between the door to the closet and the wall, and a small couch set up against the window looking over the junk yard. Sam smiled and Dean tossed Sam's bag onto the couch.  
"I remember this room." Sam said with a tired and happy tone.  
"Yeah, I've sort of redecorated a bit, but this is the room you two used to share. Now Dean if you'll follow me, this is the section of the house I've built on since you boys last stayed." He spoke leading Dean towards the end of the hallway. Bobby reached forward and placed his hand on the door knob of the last room to the left. He smiled up at Dean and pushed open the door.  
Dean quickly walked inside. He walked around the room, there was a queen-sized bed pushed up against the wall to the left with a dresser at the foot of it, the desk was situated right under the window that displayed the entrance to the shop, it was situated right over the work shop and Dean could see a parking lot off to the right. There was, as in Sammy's room, a small couch pushed up against the wall, on that same wall was a door that lead to the closet. Dean smiled and turned back to Bobby, "it's perfect."  
Bobby smiled and nodded his head, "you boys meet me downstairs when you get all settled in okay? And tell your brother as well."  
Dean nodded and Bobby walked out of the room. Dean tossed his suitcase into the bed and plopped down into it himself. Dean began to unpack his things. He took his knife and placed it under his pillow, his gun he put in a draw in his desk. It was kinda nice having his own room, "I could get used to this." Dean said to himself. He got up and opened the door to the closet, it was simple, but just having a closet was a pleasure that Dean had never had. He grabbed the few hangers that were there and took out his shirts from his bag, he began to hang them up when he heard the door creak open. He looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway watching him. "Hey little brother! What do you think? Think you could live here?" Dean asked and continued to hang up his shirts.  
"Yeah. It's comfortable. It's just..." Sammy cut off.  
"Just what?" Dean said with a little worry creeping into his voice.  
"So different." Sam said and sighed.  
Dean stopped unpacking and sat down on his bed, he patted the spot next to him and Sam walked over and plopped down. Dean placed an arm around Sam, Sam was surrounded by Dean's familiar scent, and he rested his head on Dean's shoulder.  
"Boys? There's someone here to see you." Bobby called up the stairs.  
Dean and Sam looked at each other, “you going to be okay?" Dean asked. Sam nodded and got up. Dean followed and they walked down the stairs.  
They could hear voices coming from the kitchen, "-happened? Did that bastard just drop 'em off like it was nothin?" Came a strong female voice.  
"No, no, no. I-" Bobby began.  
The woman interrupted again in a very annoyed time, "Did you have another argument? Bobby if you forgave him I swear to go-"  
"He's dead Ellen." Bobby interrupted.  
"Oh my- well, to be honest I'm not sure whether to tell the boys sorry or congrats." Ellen said in a half-annoyed half-woeful tone. Dean and Sam turned the corner into the kitchen. "Oh my how you boys have grown!" Ellen said with a slight smile on her lips. "Come here and give me a hug! Don't be shy now!" Ellen scooped them up in her arms and hugged them. "You're both just skin and bones! Ain't you boys been eating?" Ellen said as she looked up and down Sam and Dean.  
"Yes ma'am." Dean spoke.  
"Oh look at you; you don't have to call me ma'am son. Do I look that old to you?" Ellen said half-jokingly.  
"No. It's good to see you Ellen, how's Jo doing?" Dean asked, relaxing slightly more.  
"Well she's doing just fine! Now, wait just a minute, what's this?" Ellen said her face dropping as she bent forward to examine Dean's wrists. Dean tried for a moment to pull his sleeves down, but it was all in vain.  
"It's nothing. I got it hunting." Dean said examining the bruises on his wrists.  
"Yeah.’Hunting'" Ellen said quietly. "Is that what John told you to tell people?"  
"Ellen!" Bobby said in an urgent tone.  
"What I'm ju-" Ellen turned to see the pleading in Bobby's eyes. She sighed, "well if you say it was while hunting then it was while hunting. Anyway, I was just leaving. I'll bring Jo by sometime soon; she's been missing you boys." She hugged them each once more then walked out of Singer Auto.  
"Why was she here?" Dean asked, self-consciously pulling on the edges of his sleeves, keeping them as far down his arms as he could.  
"I had fixed her car a week ago and she was just dropping off this pie as thanks." Bobby explained and pointed toward an apple pie sitting on the counter.


	7. Baby

A few weeks had passed since Ellen's visit and Sam and Dean were beginning to feel right at home. It was mid-day and Dean was working on fixing up a car with Bobby. Sam was still asleep, he was taking this change a bit harder than Dean was, or at least Sam's way of coping was sleep while Dean's was staying up all night fixing whatever he could. Dean was elbow-deep into an engine, the music was playing loudly in the background. This, this was exactly what Dean wanted to do for the rest of his life. Dean began to sing along to the radio,  
'My friends are gonna be there too   
I'm on the highway to hell  
On the highway to hell  
Highway to hell  
I'm on the highway to hell'  
Dean smiled; he had finally gotten the motor re-assembled.  
'No stop signs, speed limit  
Nobody's gonna slow me down  
Like a wheel, gonna spin it  
Nobody's gonna mess me round  
Hey Satan, paid my dues  
Playing in a rocking band  
Hey momma, look at me'  
"Dean!" Bobby yelled over the music, what is this?!" Dean smiled and turned it down, "oh come on Bobby, AC/DC, you know? Highway to hell?"  
"No, I meant what are you doing with that motor?" Bobby asked waving off Dean's singing.  
"Oh, it was Mr. Paige's car I think? I fixed it. It was-"  
"You fixed it?! Man, I'm glad I've got you here, if you started a shop you'd run me out of business!" Bobby laughed, "carry on with whatever this was." Bobby said and walked toward the door, "oh, but could you keep that down? I think your brother's still sleeping." Dean nodded and checked the clock, it was only five am. Dean turned down the music; he hadn't realized that it was so early. Dean got the engine back into the car and started it back up. It roared to life and Dean smiled, "ooh, listen to that baby purr." He said to himself. He parked it in the lot and walked back into the house, he clicked off the radio on his way. Dean scrubbed his hands clean and decided that he needed a shower. He slowly made his way up the stairs humming along his way. He could hear some movement coming from Sam's room. As he got closer he could hear Sam whimper. Then he heard the scream. Dean flung himself through the door to Sammy's room. When he entered he saw Sam wrapped up in blankets moving rapidly and breathing hard. Dean quickly made his way over to Sam's side. "Sammy?!" Dean asked as he scooped up his little brother. Sam slowly stopped trying to break free of Dean's grasp and soon opened his eyes.  
"Dean?" He asked quietly.  
"Sammy. You alright?" He worried over his little brothers now limp body. Sam nodded, but Dean could tell that he was close to tears. Dean held Sam against him and slowly began to rock back and forth humming along to "carry on my wayward son" quietly. Sam smiled. This was the song Dean would sing him every night. No matter what, no matter if John had done something to either one, or if he was missing again. Sam began to sing along, his voice came out muffled through Dean's jacket, "there'll be peace when you are do-one, lay your weary head to re-est don't you cry no mo-ore" Dean smiled and began to hum the guitar solo. Sam smiled up at Dean.  
Dean began to sing, "once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion, I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high..." Dean raised Sam up above him and allowed him to fly above him. Sam started laughing and Dean gently set him back into bed, he checked his brother's forehead, "you've got a fever," Dean quickly ran and got a thermometer and came back, he placed it into Sam's mouth, "so, you gonna tell me what your dream was about?" Dean asked Sam. Sam laughed slightly with the thermometer in his mouth. Dean smiled and removed it, then he looked at Sam very seriously and waited for a response. Sam inspected his sheets. "Sam?" Dean asked again.  
Sam sighed, "dad was coming after you... As a ghost. He said he had to keep you in place. He wa-he was hurting you dean." Sam kept his eyes low. "Dean?"  
"Yeah?" Dean replied in a quiet voice, he had had the same dream two nights prior.  
"How are you not happy that he's gone?" Sam asked trembling a little bit.  
Dean went silent for a while. When he finally spoke it came out very choked-up and almost angry. "No."  
"Well I-" Sam began to try to explain himself.  
"No, I don't feel happy. I feel regret. I should have been a better son. I shouldn't have gone against his word as often as I did." Dean felt as though he was lying. This was how he felt; at least, this was as far as he was willing to dig into the matter.   
"But Dean! You obeyed his every word." Sam argued.  
"No, I really didn't." Dean said his head dropping to his hands. Sam tried to push Dean's hands down and talk to him, but Dean stood up and walked out with a quick, "I need to shower" for an explanation.  
\---  
When Dean got out if the shower he could hear a strangely familiar voice coming from the kitchen along with Bobby's. He quickly dried off and got dressed so he could head downstairs. When he got down there he realized where he recognized the voice from. It was Rufus, the man working with John on the case he died on. Dean rounded the corner to the kitchen. He looked upon the face of the man who had called him.  
"Oh, you must be Dean." Rufus said looking at Dean with remorse in his eyes.  
"You must be Rufus." Dean said, keeping all emotion from his voice.  
"That's right." Rufus said insecurely, "look son, I'm so sor-"  
Dean held up his hand, "it's okay, it's uh- not your fault." Then he turned to Bobby, "I'll be in the garage," and with that, he left. Once he walked out he saw her. He caught his breath, he never thought he'd see the impala again, and now it was his. He smiled and ran over to it. She was perfect, no scratches or dents. He looked inside as saw all the perfect imperfectnesses. He unlocked the door through the open window and got in. He had only driven her a few times, only when John let him which was in emergencies when he couldn't drive, or over-night when John needed to sleep. Dean heard the garage door open again and saw Bobby and Rufus walk out together. Bobby beckoned him over and Dean reluctantly got out of the impala.  
"She still up to your standards?" Rufus called, a smile in his voice. Dean smiled and nodded.  
Bobby walked over to Dean, "hey, I'm gonna give Rufus a ride to another hunter's house. I'll be back late tonight. I need you and Sam to go to the store and get supplies for school; it starts back up real soon. Can you do that?" Bobby asked Dean, not with the sarcastic doubting voice that John's voice always held, but with a caring and concerned tone.  
Dean was taken aback a little, "yes?" He said quizzically.  
Bobby almost said something more but was cut off by Rufus, "are we going to go or are you two going to chat all day?!" He called. Bobby shrugged a little and began to walk away, "wait!" Dean shouted Bobby turned back with surprise, "it's just, I thought you'd like to know, Sam has a fever."  
Bobby came back a little and asked, "do you need me to stay home?"  
"Nah, I got it. I just thought you'd like to know." Dean shrugged.  
"Alright well keep an eye on him, you know how to get to the hospital from here right?" Dean nodded and Bobby continued. "If you do need to take him, please call me, okay?" Dean nodded and Bobby walked off to drive Rufus away.  
\---  
Once Sam started feeling better Dean drove them to a store and they got some supplies for school. This had been a new experience for the both of them, they had no idea what they would need, but they did their best. They both went to bed early that night with the feverish hope of actually getting some sleep.


	8. To Normalcy

Dean woke up at five-thirty that morning; he had over an hour and a half before they had to leave. He sighed and rubbed at his face. Today was going to be a long day, he could tell already. Dean lay sprawled out across his bed for about ten minutes before he convinced himself to get up. He slowly and meticulously got dressed and decided to go through his backpack once more. It was fairly empty, two pencils, four notebooks, and a couple folders. Dean had been to school many times before, and he was no longer daunted by the first day, but this time was different, this time they were stationary and Dean would have to actually care. He decided to see if Sam was up yet, and walked out into the hallway. Dean slowly opened the door to Sammy's room and saw him tossing and turning. Dean walked into the room and slowly closed the door behind him. "Sam? Sammy?" Dean whispered. Sam began to shake a little more violently.  
"No. No please, please stop!" Sam cried out. Dean rushed to the bedside and gently placed a hand over his brothers. "Let him go!" Sam said a little quieter.  
Dean leaned into the bed and whispered into Sam's ear, "I'm right here baby brother. I'm right here." Sam snapped awake and looked around the room, unrecognizing of his surroundings for a moment. Dean smiled kindly down at him, "bad dream?" He asked. Sammy nodded. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and again began to sing, "carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more." Sam relaxed into his brothers arms and sunk into Dean's body. It was so comforting feeling Dean's chest rise and fall. The sound of Dean singing reverberated through his chest and against Sam's head.  
\---  
Thirty minutes later the two were dressed and ready for school. They were headed out the door towards the impala. Bobby waved good-bye out the window and they were off. Dean smiled as the engine revved and he sped away. It wasn't very far to the school, but Bobby had said that he preferred if they drove, and Dean had no problem with that. They arrived in about five minutes and Dean parked his car. They both got out and went their separate ways. Bobby had enrolled them and gotten their schedules about three days prior. Dean grabbed his out, first he went to his locker to see if he could get the combo to work, over the years Dean had found that about seventy-five percent of lockers had little tricks that were the only way to get them open, and about ten percent wouldn't work no matter how many times you put the combo in. By some miracle Dean managed to get the locker open on the first try. He slipped his extra books into it and headed off for his first class of the day, pre-calculus. He arrived to class and took a seat in between a blue-eyed kid and a blonde girl.  
The teacher began class, "Alright students, please find a seat. I'm Ms. Collins and I'll be your teacher for this Pre-calculus course. If anyone is in the wrong room, please tell me now." She waited for a second then continued when no one spoke up. "Okay first I would like to start out by explaining to the new students that this school uses block scheduling, this means that you will have your first four classes today, then your next four tomorrow. Alrighty then, I know that we have a few last-minute additions to class, so I'm sorry but those names won't be on my roster, so let's start out by taking role!" She walked over to her desk and computer and began to call out names. "Just raise your hand if you're here please, Anna? Bella? Beatrice? Brody? Cameron? Castiel?" The boy next to Dean raised his hand. "Denise?..." The teacher continued calling names until everyone except Dean had risen their hand. "Is there anyone I didn't call?" The teacher asked, Dean raised his hand, "and what's your name?" She said with a smile towards him.  
"Dean, Dean Winchester." He answered; the boy to his left looked up slightly towards him, mouth slightly agape. He soon put his head back down.  
\---  
Dean's next two classes went by fairly quickly, and soon he was already at lunch. On his way to the hot-lunch line Dean heard a commotion down a hallway. Dean, naturally, turned down the hallway to see what was going on. There was a small crowd of people at the end of it. As he approached he saw that at the middle of the group were two students: a tall and muscular guy and that boy from Dean's math class. Dean pushed his way through to the middle of the circle. The taller boy stopped punching Castiel for a moment and looked up at Dean, "can I help you?" The boy asked sneeringly.  
"Yeah, you can, see I'm new to this school and I was trying to make my way to the lunch room, could you tell me where to find it?" Dean asked, a sparkle behind his eyes.  
The boy stared at Dean incredulously, he still held Castiel's shirt collar in his hands. "You serious?"  
"I'm always serious. But I suppose that wasn't quite what you meant huh? In answer to your real question, as I don't like to keep people waiting, no." Dean answered while assessing the situation at hand.  
The boy looked at him as if expecting more, "so what? Why you here?"  
"Hmm?" Dean asked leaning his head forward a little bit, "oh, well first off if like to add an 'are' to your question you know, 'why are you here' and secondly, I'm here to do this." Dean's hand shot up at grabbed the boy’s hand, twisting it until Castiel was set free. Castiel sat dazed on the ground for a moment before he ran off down the hallway. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Dean asked mockingly with a smirk before letting go of the boy's arm.  
Dean began to walk away as the boy tried to think of something clever to say, instead he allowed, "what like you?" to fly out of his mouth.  
Dean paused and laughed a little to himself. "Do you misjudge yourself this often? Or are you just feeling particularly stupid today?" Dean said with ease.  
The boy growled slightly, "what? You too chicken to fight with fists? Must you use your words?"  
"How very ostentatious of you sir!" Dean said with mock grace, "I, of course find words to be more elegant, but never would I refuse my fists a chance to fly."  
The boy threw a punch at Dean, Dean easily maneuvered around it, "well I don't see you fightin'!" The boy said loudly.  
Dean scoffed, "well I don't hit women." Then after a second’s consideration he continued while dodging another fist, "I'm sorry, that was offensive, I've seen many women, and even young girls punch better than you." The boy, as Dean expected punched harder than he had before, Dean ducked under his arm, grabbed the boy's fist, and pulled it down behind him. The boy ended up flipping over Dean, and landed on his back. Dean held the boy's arm at almost breaking point and leaned down closer to him, "look, I don't pretend to know your life, but even if mommy hit you and daddy's dead, you do not take it out on other people, you got it?" He asked twisting the boy's arm a little bit more. The boy whimpered a sort of 'yes' and Dean let go of him. Dean walked slowly away from the boy as he gathered himself. When Dean got to the lunch-line it was empty and the kitchen was closed. Dean decided to find a place to sit quietly for a little while; he was done with dealing with people. He made his way over to an empty table and sat down. He pulled out his schedule and unfolded it, he only had one more class left, Spanish. He sighed, then noticed a few pairs of eyes watching him.  
He looked up to find immediately before him Castiel, looking ruffled, but no longer bloody, "can- um is it alright if I sit here?" Cas asked quietly.  
Dean shrugged, "it's a free country." Dean looked back down at his schedule.


	9. A Thing of the Past

"I can take care of myself you know." Cas spoke up.  
Dean raised his eyes from the paper before him for a second. He straightened the paper and looked back down, "oh yeah, I could tell by the way that you were getting your ass kicked."  
Cas sighed, "I wasn't sure..." He trailed off. They sat there in silence for the rest of lunch.  
\---  
Afterwards they both walked to Spanish, not saying a word to break the awkward silence between them. Dean couldn't help but watch Cas as often as he could during the lecture. Cas sat two seats ahead of him and to the left one row. He watched as the dark brown hair softly and slightly swayed in the air conditioned room and a current of air swept past him. Class was soon over and Dean and Cas went their separate ways. Dean walked to the impala to find Sam there waiting for him. He smiled and unlocked the door for Sam, "so Sammy, how was your day?" He asked as the engine roared to life. Sam shrugged. "Oh come on!" Dean said looking at his brother as they waited to get out of the parking lot. "It couldn't have been that bad."  
"It wasn't bad." Sam began, "Dean? Did you fight some kid today?" He accused.  
Dean gave a sideways glance and smile in Sam's direction. "No." Then after a moment's consideration continued, "I put him in his place. But I didn't hurt him." He explained.  
"Why?" Sam argued, "don't you want to be normal for once?"  
Dean laughed, "I ain't normal, but it wasn't anything bad, he was beating up this kid and no one was doing anything. So I put him in his place. The ground." Sam almost smiled, but caught himself before it fully showed. They arrived home soon after and walked inside the seemingly abandoned Singer Auto. "Bobby?" Dean yelled when they entered the house.  
"Present." Bobby replied from a room deeper into the house. Dean smiled and shook his head before following the voice into the living room. There the by found Bobby sitting in his chair reading a newspaper. "So, how was school boys?" He asked with a smile. They both shrugged. "Was it at least do-able?" They both nodded with a small smile. "Good." Bobby said quietly and turned back to his newspaper. Dean and Sam walked up to their rooms.  
\---  
An hour later Bobby called the boys downstairs. As they walked down the smell of melting cheese and simmering meat hit their noses. They both breathed in deeply and hurried down towards to kitchen. Bobby handed them each a plate with a burger and some fries on it and they all walked into the dining room. They began to talk and eat and actually had a family dinner. Dean remembered briefly a few of these with their mom. After dinner they all sat around the table not wanting to stand up or stop talking about old times. "I remember this one time," Bobby began, "your father and I were being chased by a hoard of demons, and I swear they were the clumsiest demons I've ever seen! We finally made it to the truck and started to get away from them, when I look back and see that the demons were trying to run after us, but they just kept falling, no reason, just one would fall, then two would trip over that one, then five more fell over, until it was just a big pile of demons all scratching at each other and trying to get free!" Dean and Sam began to laugh, "and that's not even the best part! They all decide at the same time to smoke out and then it's just this big cloud of demon smoke that's all stuck together pulling at different sides until they all fell back into the pit!" All three of them burst out laughing. "Ah," Bobby wiped his eyes, "your father and I had some good times before-" Bobby cut off and cleared his throat.  
"What happened between you two?" Sam asked curiously.  
"Well son, let's just say that we disagreed on many things and leave it at that." Bobby said, the tone in the room began to sink.  
"But I've never heard the story, please?" Sam asked pleadingly.  
Bobby looked to Dean, Dean sighed. "It was because of me." He stated.  
"What do you mean?" Sam asked turning his undivided attention to Dean.  
Dean looked at Bobby for reassurance, then continued, "do you remember that night that dad got really really angry at me? Like I walked in to talk to him and he started yelling and throwing things?"  
Funny, Sam thought, he was just thinking of that moment the day John died, this was the first time he ever saw Dean cry. "Mmhmm" Sam assented.  
"Well it went in to tell him- to tell-" Dean sighed, weary of continuing, unaware of how Sam would take the news. "I came out."  
"Of what?" Sam asked confusedly.  
"No, no," Dean said, almost laughing at Sam's innocence, "I came out of the closet? You know..." But when Sam made no motion of recognition Dean continued, "I told him that I'm Bi."  
"Bye?" Sam asked, uncomprehending of what Dean was saying.  
"Yes, bi? As in bisexual." Dean explained.  
"What does that-?" Sam questioned  
"It means I could like a girl or a boy." Dean said, being patient and hoping for the best, yet expecting the worst.  
"Oh." Sam said, "I think I get it now. But why was he angry?" Bobby and Dean smiled, Dean thought back, allowing his memory to go where he had forbid it for years.  
‘“You’re what?" John asked accusingly.  
"I- well... Bi?" Dean said unsure of himself at the moment.  
"And what on earth would make you think that?!" John argued.  
"Because... Well I met this guy, and I- I just I think I love him, dad." Dean shook as he spoke.  
"Love?! What do you know about love Dean? You're thirteen. Thirteen-year-olds don't know anything about love." John dismissed Dean.  
"Okay, well I like him then, is that better?" Dean said, getting slightly angry at his dad's incomprehension.  
"Better? No. Dean, you're confused." John said his tone harsh but still quiet.  
"I'm not confused. I really like him dad, we- we've been dating for a month now." Dean said, his voice slightly rising.  
John looked up at Dean. He slowly stood and leaned over his desk closer to Dean. "A month?" He asked his voice piercingly calm.  
"Y-yes?" Dean swallowed hard; this was going southward very quickly.  
"Dean Adam Winchester. You get this silly idea out of your head right now or so help me god..." John's voice had risen to a yell, he walked around the desk as he was speaking, and then proceeded to slap Dean across the face as hard as he could.  
Dean stumbled to the side, "dad, it's not silly. Please just understand."  
John grabbed Dean by his collar and pulled him up so that his feet no longer touched the ground, "you are not my son. Who are you? You are not Dean."  
Dean tried to get free, "dad, it's me!" tears began to stream from his eyes, the tears felt cold against his burning cheek.  
John let go of Dean and fell into a chair holding his head, "where's the demon I blame for this?" He stood and ran his arms along the desk he had been working at throwing everything to the floor.  
"Dad?" Dean choked out.  
"No. You're no son of mine. Get out, get that ignorant thought out of your head or you don't come back."'  
"He- he just didn't understand." Dean said in a low voice. "If you'll excuse me." Dean whispered then got up from the table and walked up to his room. He shut the door. He walked over to his window and opened it. His lights were off. The cool air swirled around his flushing cheeks. He took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and allowed the cool air to calm him down. John's voice from the next morning began to echo through his mind once more.  
'Dean was asleep, well at least he was pretending to be. He had heard John come in, but he didn't want to talk to him. John took a seat by the bed. "Wake up." His harsh voice crashed into Dean's ears. Dean weakly opened his eyes. "By the fact that you're still here I'm going to assume that you got that silly notion out of your head, yes?"  
Dean gave up; he gave in. "Yeah." He mumbled into his pillow.  
"Good, then I think apologies are in order then." John said, his tone had cooled back down to a calm and almost soothing pace. Dean nodded, but kept his head pressed to the pillow. "Well?" John asked. Dean realized something he felt stupid for not instantly recognizing. John wasn't going to apologize, he expected Dean to.  
Dean sighed quietly, "I'm sorry." He forced through his lips.  
John didn't seem pleased, "come on, like you mean it. You could at least pretend for the pain you put me through."  
Dean wanted to yell and throw things at his dad, but instead he stated again. "I'm sorry."  
John sighed, "boy how insolent can you get?" He asked angrily.  
Dean now could see what this was; John was like every school bully you see on TV. He was basically pulling Dean's arm around behind his back, threatening to break it, and making Dean call 'uncle.' "I'm sorry." Dean said with as much empathy he could muster.  
John smiled. "Once more." He said, he asserted dominance with such force that Dean felt helpless.  
"I'm sorry." He was shaking slightly, this time he meant it. It was a stupid idea, he was sorry, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He couldn't help it; the words came rushing out almost as quick as the tears which he turned into the pillow to hide. Dean heard the door open and close and he was left there, whispering "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." like a broken record player, like a broken boy. The tears forcefully overflowed his pillow and leaked down his heaving chest to the mattress.' Dean snapped out of it when he realized that the door he had heard was actually in this time. He turned around and saw Sammy standing at the entrance, ready to turn and run if Dean was angry. Dean sat down at his desk. "Hey Sammy." He said quietly.  
"Hey." Sam said unsure about Dean's mood.  
Dean looked up at Sam, "you're getting so tall. Soon you'll surpass me." He said with a sigh.  
"Sorry" Sam said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Dean smiled; he would be a great man, Sammy.


	10. Something fishy

Dean decided that it was time to start pulling his weight, Bobby never really talked about money, but Dean could tell that he was slightly worried about his expenses almost tripling. Dean had talked to Bobby and decided to get a job in a near-by factory. He arrived for an interview and was told he could start the following day. He came home very happy with himself.  
\---  
The next day they had school again, as it was Thursday. First block started and Dean, as always sat right next to Castiel. He didn't say a word to Dean. Dean couldn't tell if Castiel was angry, or if he thought Dean was angry, but he was definitely avoiding eye-contact. The teacher started class before Dean could get a word out to Castiel. "Alright class, I have a meeting that I need to go to for about an hour, so I'm going to have Mr. Jensen, the Intro. to engineering teacher, watch over you guys as you do the worksheet," she began while passing out the work, "you may work with a partner." And with that they were set loose to work as they pleased. Their teacher walked over to the other and thanked him, he said something to her, and she giggled then nodded.   
"They're soul mates." Came a deep voice to Dean's left.  
Dean turned his head, "what?" He asked Castiel.  
"Ms. Collins and Mr. Jensen. They will be married by the end of the year." He replied.  
Dean laughed and shook his head, "hey, wanna work on this together?" His cheeks flushed slightly.  
"Sure." Castiel nodded.  
"I like doing this stuff, translating graphs is so easy." Dean remarked as they began. Quickly they finished all three pages of the packet and were left sitting there, with nothing to do but talk.  
"So..." Castiel started awkwardly.  
Dean smiled and laughed, "yeah, Castiel? Where do you even get a name like Castiel anyways?"  
Castiel blushed slightly, "my father named me."  
"It's too much of a mouthful, how about Cas? Can I call you Cas?" Dean asked.  
Cas tilted his head slightly, "yes, that would be acceptable."  
Dean smiled, "well then Cas, what's a good restaurant or movie theater or somethin' round here?" Cas shrugged. "What you don't know?" Dean asked.  
"No. I only uh, moved here for the begging of the school year." Cas answered.  
"Oh yeah? That's funny... Me too." Dean said happily.  
"I kno- needed a break from my last place." Cas fixed his sentence awkwardly.  
Dean cocked his head, "mhm. Me too I suppose. But moving here wasn't really my choice."  
"It wasn't mine either, my father sent me here." Cas replied.  
They continued to talk and get to know each other a bit better, and soon class was over. Dean seemed to float through the rest of his day. In English they were given paragraphs to analyze, in Intro to engineering he half-listened as the teacher went on tangent after tangent about how cars were put together. At lunch Dean sat at the same table as he had been, and so did Castiel. Cas sat closer to Dean this time, hoping he wouldn't notice. Dean did, but pretended not to. This lunch, however, was different than normal. Sammy walked over to them, "hey Dean. Is someone sitting here?" He asked hopefully.  
"No. Take a seat Sammy. Oh, uh- this is Cas. And Cas, this is Sam, my little brother." Dean stated in a half-interested manner as usual. "So what's up Sammy?"  
Sam waved to Cas then looked down to his food, "nothing. I just don't want to sit with them again today." He said in almost a whisper.  
"Whose 'them'?" Dean asked in his worried-older-brother tone.  
"Just these kids in my grade." Sam said.  
"They givin' you a hard time?" Dean asked, an angry glint beginning to from in his eyes.  
"No. That's not it, it's just, all they want to talk about is homework, and girls, and how Mrs. Jared's hair is too long. It's annoying." Sam complained.  
Dean laughed, "well you're always welcome to eat with me and Cas, right?" Cas nodded and Sam smiled.  
\---  
After lunch Sam walked up to Dean and asked him innocently, "is Cas your boyfriend?"  
Dean looked down at Sam, surprised by the question, "not yet." He said definitively with a wink. With that the brothers went their separate ways for the last class of the day. Dean went to Spanish, and Sam walked to Chemistry. Dean sat down in his seat just as the bell rang for class to start. Cas was still sitting diagonally from Dean. Spanish, like all his other classes of the day, flew by, and soon it was time to leave.  
As they walked out of class Dean pulled Cas into an empty hallway, "Dean, w- what are we doing?" Cas stuttered.  
Dean looked around once more to make sure that no one was also using that hallway. When he was sure no one was there Dean turned to Cas, "look, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out to- dinner- or something- with me?" Dean began to blush slightly; he never had had this much trouble asking someone out.  
Cas smiled, "yes, that would be enjoyable," he spoke in his usual seemingly not understanding voice, but Dean just smiled.  
"Okay, good. You free this weekend?" Dean asked.  
"Yes." Cas replied simply, "I'm all yours."  
\---  
Dean walked out to the car and smiled up at Sam, "sorry I'm a little late. I had some business to take care of."  
"By 'business' do you mean asking Cas out?" Sam asked hopefully. Dean nodded and Sam smiled very excitedly, "When are you going out?"  
"This weekend, I'm gonna pick him up after my shift at the factory tomorrow." Dean explained as he got into the car, Sammy followed suit, tossing his bag in the back as he did so.  
"Dean?" Sam asked as they turned onto Main Street.  
"Yeah?"  
"Why are you working?" Sam looked up to his big brother.  
"Well, I wanna help out, Bobby took us in out of the goodness of his heart, but he only lived on his savings and the little he makes from the shop, and when it was just him, that was a great system. But now, I have a feeling that he will be running on empty soon enough." Dean explained as they pulled into Singer Auto. Sam nodded slowly. Dean was happy that Sam took that explanation. To be honest, Dean had no idea how Bobby was doing, but he and Bobby had had a conversation about Sam going to college. Dean knew that it had always been Sam's dream to go to Stanford. Dean followed Sam, and they walked inside. "Bobby? We're home." Dean called out.  
"In here." Bobby called from his study. They walked in and found Bobby sitting at his desk with books piled up, and the phone to one ear, 'just a minute' he mouthed to the boys and continued his conversation with some hunter. "I really think that's what you’re dealing with. Well if you already knew, why did you call me?! That's what I thought, now do you wanna know how to kill them or not?" Bobby flipped a page in one of the books, "you need to perform an exorcism. Yeah. You don't know how to trap them?! Samuel, why are you even hunting it? Oh right, good idea." The sarcasm in Bobby's voice made Sam and Dean smile. "Draw a devils trap. Then look it up. Look Samuel, I have to go. Yup. Okay, call me if you have any more trouble." Bobby hung up the phone. "So how're me boys doing?"  
"Good." Sam replied,  
"I've got to work tonight, my first day... And I've got a date tomorrow night." Dean stated with a sort of eager yet worried tone.  
"Good luck. I'm sure it'll be fine. When are you leaving?" Bobby asked while checking his watch, he hadn't seemed to notice the second thing Dean had said.  
"Half an hour." Dean replied.  
Bobby got up from his chair, "guess that means I better make you something for dinner then."  
"Nah, it's fine." Dean said waving Bobby off, "I'll eat when I get home. I'm not hungry now." He smiled and walked up to his room to do what little homework he could before he left.  
\---  
Dean arrived to the factory about ten minutes early, and was quickly put to work. Dean began to work and got very quick at his job. His mind began to wander, of course, it went to Sammy. He's going to grow up to be a great guy; he'll do so much good as a lawyer, Dean was happy to be working in order to help Sam in the long run. He all of a sudden heard a quick and small almost flapping noise, as if a bird had gotten caught in the rafters. Then came the loudest noise he had ever heard in his life. An explosion so big that for a minute the entire world stopped. He was floating through a fire, the air around him instantly became hot and he could fell the air leave his lungs. Next thing he knew he was in the darkness. He struggled to open his eyes, and when he did he saw Sam standing over him looking terrified. "what just happened?" Dean asked quietly, his throat was so dry that it soon made him sit up and cough for minutes on end. Once he stopped coughing he saw Bobby sitting in the dining room talking to someone, he had his gun in one hand, "who's he talking to?" Dean asked his brother.  
"You might want to come see this. You'll never believe me." Sammy stated and then helped Dean get up. They walked into the dining room and Dean became very confused.  
"Cas?!" He confronted, "why are you here? And how did I get here? And why is Bobby pointing a gun at you?!" He glared at Bobby for a second.  
"What a second you do know this guy?" Bobby asked sounding confused.  
"Yeah, this is my date tomorrow night..." Dean said unsurely. Bobby put down the gun.  
"This is not the way I wanted to come out to you." Cas stated matter-of-factly. "Dean, Bobby, Sam, I am an angel of the Lord."  
Dean smiled, "come on. There are no such things as Angels." Dean said convincingly.  
"That was hurtful." Castiel spoke.  
"Cas. Don't lie to me." Dean said forcefully.  
"I'm not." Cas spoke quietly. Dean sighed, he walked up the stairs. "Dean! At least let me help you with your arm." Cas shouted after him. Dean was already up the stairs however, and in his room. Sam shrugged and followed Dean up the stairs. Now it was just Cas and Bobby.  
"why doesn't he understand?" Cas asked Bobby.  
Bobby sighed, "how much do you know about Dean's past?"  
"only what my sister did wrong." Cas stated.  
"what?" Bobby asked confused.  
Case sighed, "My sister was designated to watch over Dean, the angels have a plan for him, but she got too involved, the council was able to understand and even forgive her for giving Dean money, but when she killed his father-"  
"what?!?" Bobby interrupted.  
"I thought you knew, she broke command and killed John Winchester to save Dean the abuse. Of course, instantly she was taken to prison where she will remain for the rest of eternity, but that's how I got put on Dean's case, Dean is in deep trouble now, his world changed so much on that one day, now what will happen to him is unknown. Same with Sam, however he still has the same angel looking over him. But what does this have to do with the fact that Dean will not accept me?" Cas took a deep breath and sighed.  
Bobby took a moment's pause, and then answered, "Well when someone lives a life like Dean has, with horrors filling his every waking or sleeping moment, they start to see the truth of the world. That all that's out there is the evil, there is no good, there is no God. And no blue eyed, feathery, dark and mysterious Angels either." Bobby huffed to himself then walked to the stairs. "boys?" he called up.  
Sam walked along the hallway to the top of the stairs. "he's not coming out. He has locked himself in his closet."  
There was a flapping of wings and Cas was standing by Sam. Bobby sighed and walked into his room to let them figure this one out on their own. Sam gasped a little, but then lead Cas to Dean's room.  
"Dean?" Cas called through the door to the closet. There was a slight shifting noise on the other side of the door and it soon opened a crack. "Dean I understand why you don't believe. And I don't care either way, I wasn't even supposed to-"  
"I was looking forward to this weekend," Dean paused, "I had it all planed out. We were going to see a movie, then I'd take you to Ellen's roadhouse for dinner, and finally I'd drop you off at your home and kiss you on the cheek." Dean sighed heavily. "But I guess none of that matters anymore, I suppose there would be ruled against dating the person you were sent to protect."  
Cas laughed, "yes, there are rules, but you always seem to break all of them anyway. I mean, you should be getting the one beating that really forced you to follow in your father's footsteps. John came home from the hunt angry and drunken, it was the final straw for you, you yell at him, you tell him how dangerous it is to be driving drunk, all you did was care about him. But in return he beat you within an inch of your life. Sammy fixed you up. You follow your father again, until this happens for the third time, this one was Sam's fault. Although you'll never admit it. Sam wanted to go the college, John tried to beat him but you stood in his way, after all was said and done Sam fixed you up, then he left. He went and started school. He wanted to become a lawyer. When Sam left, unknown to him, John got even angrier. He beat you again and again until you went to the hospital. Then he left you, the hospital became overrun by demons, you had to fight your way out, you found John again, because it seemed to you the only logical step, you never fully recover from it though, you still have a rib that hurts when you run, but you never cared, it's just a reminder of your past." Cas sighed, “so you break rules Dean Winchester." Cas looked over towards to door and found that it was wide open. He got up and walked over to the doorway.  
"So you know everything about me and I know nothing about you." Dean said into his knees as he watched Castiel.  
"No, not exactly, I have seen your life, but that does not mean that I know you." Cas concluded.  
"Then how about this, if you're up for it, we'll ask each other questions and we have to be honest in our answers, deal?" Dean felt like a middle schooler but he didn't care anymore, this was all too much for him and he just needed to understand.  
"Sure," Cas said sympathetically.  
The rest of the house was dark; everyone else was asleep, "meet me on the roof." Dean said then got up and out of the closet. Cas smiled sheepishly to himself, 'Dean is so cute when he is determined.' he flapped his wings and instantly was up on the roof waiting for Dean. The air was almost hot, but the wind added a slight nip to the air. He breathed in deeply and allowed his trench coat to slip down one of his shoulders, he laid back on the tiled roof. He heard a rustle and looked up to find Dean pulling himself up. He smiled at Cas and handed him one of the cans he had brought up.  
"Dean, I am an angel, I have no need of soda." Dean choked on the sip he had just taken of his own, and started to laugh, "have I said something funny?" Castiel asked while titling his head to the side.  
Dean smiled, "Neither do I." he said waving the beer can in front of Cas's face.  
"But you're underage..." Cas stated.  
Dean smiled and took another swig. "Alright... So never have I ever, know how it works?" Cas shook his head, Dean looked sarcastically exasperated, "jeez what do they teach you in heaven... Or whatever. Anyway, we take turns each saying 'never have I ever...' Then you know fill in some random action here, and who ever's done it takes a drink of their beer, the first person to finish their drink loses. Got it?" Cas nodded, eyeing his beverage suspiciously. "Good, I'll start." Dean paused for a moment and thought, "never have I ever... Crashed a car." Neither one took a drink.  
"Never have I ever..." Cas began, "been punched." Dean took a drink.  
"Seriously dude? You've never been punched? Something tells me I'll be losing this game... Okay, never have I ever killed a demon." Cas popped the tab of the beer and took a hesitative drink. Dean smiled.  
"Never have I ever gotten in trouble with authority." Cas said after he was sure that he didn't die from his first taste of alcohol. Dean took a deep swig.  
"Too many times to count." He said with a smile behind his eyes, "never have I ever kissed an angel." Dean said with a wink. No one took a sip.  
"Never have I ever kissed anyone." Cas spoke. Dean quietly drank again.  
\---  
This continued for some time until Dean had gone through four, and Cas two of the beers Dean had grabbed and were both more than just a little tipsy.  
"Nerr have I err beat someone up." Dean slurred to Cas. Cas took a long drink.  
Cas spoke through continuous hiccups, "Never had -hic- have I err been beaten up by someone I look up -hic- to."  
Dean took a final drink of his beer, which consisted of one quarter of the can, and threw it aside. "Looks like you've won... Congrrrats."  
"Dean." Cas spoke, the hiccups suddenly gone and the buzzed feeling returning to normal. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've been through."  
Dean didn't notice the lack of drunkenness about Cas, "hey, rmember what werrr sayin'? Bout never kissin' an angel?"  
"Yes, but I don't see what that has to- ah-" Cas was cut off mid speech by Dean's lips crashing into his. Dean roughly yet not unsmoothly pressed his lips into Cas's and kisses him. Cas didn't know what to do, he almost pulled back, but then he relaxed. He allowed his fingers to find their way under Dean's thick coat and wrap around his body. Dean smiled against Cas's lips, he was instantly sobered. One of Dean's hands slipped through Cas's hair while the other held them upright. When Dean finally released Cas they both stared at each other in a longing yet almost terrified way. "So..." Castiel started, looking up at the stars. He leaned back into the roof and spread out his arms behind him.  
"Erm. I think-" Dean cut off. He followed Cas's example and laid back. They both sighed simultaneously.


	11. Lost Without You

The next few weeks went by in a blur. In Dean's memory it was like one of those cheesy love-montages you see in movies. All cuddles and kissing. Dean was finally happy, when he was with Cas he no longer felt like so much of a screw-up. Every night when Dean would sing Sam to sleep, even though Sam often said that he was too old for it now, Cas would hum along to the parts of the song he knew. This evening was no different to any other; they were all sitting in the living room watching TV. Bobby was in his chair, Sam was sprawled out on the floor (that was where he liked to sit, he wasn't kicked off the couch), and Dean and Cas laid out on the couch.  
"But I don't understand..." Cas said again, each time these words came out of Cas's mouth Dean smiled, "if the pizza man really loves that boy, then why doesn't he just tell him?"  
"Well," Dean started, "first off, if he did that then there would be no show, secondly, people wouldn't like him if they found out he is gay; well I'm guessing Joanna would, but the rest of them are pretty shitty people." Dean loved explaining these shows to Cas, "you see this is why you're failing English. You don't analyze things in a human way."  
Cas shrugged and got up, "anybody want anything?"  
"Beer"  
"Soda"  
"No thanks"  
Cas smiled, he had found a family, one much less broken then his own.  
Cas walked back in, he handed the beer to Bobby, and the soda to Sam. He plopped back down onto the couch and opened a bag of chips. Pretty soon Dean had moved closer to him and began to eat some as well.  
"Don't fill up on those now," Bobby warned, "Ellen will be angry if no one eats her food."  
Dean smiled as grabbed another handful, "is she bringing Jo this time?" He asked through a mouthful of chips.  
"Yeah, and you two better be on your best behavior," he said eyeing the couch, "Ellen's very picky about who she'll let date her boys."  
Cas smiled, "yes sir." He said with a very light and polite tone. Bobby laughed. Dean set his head on Cas's lap and stretched his legs out over the other side of the couch.  
\---  
They all sat like that for an hour or so until the doorbell rang.  
"I got it." Bobby said and got up out of his chair, no one else moved.  
"Great to see you! Where're my boys?" Ellen's voice rang through the house.  
"That's our cue." Dean said and stood up. He helped Sam up from the ground and allowed him to go running off first. Dean took Cas's hand, "ready?" He asked. Cas nodded his head, but he looked a little nervous.  
Dean lead Cas to the front door where Ellen was talking about how much Sam had grown in just a few weeks, "what is Bobby feeding you?" She asked sarcastically.  
Sam shrugged, and there was a new voice in the room, "mama, could you maybe move so I could put these down?" Jo had appeared right behind Ellen carrying two bags full of groceries. Ellen stepped out of the way apologetically and moved on to Dean. "Dean, it's good to see you! How're you doing hun? Oh and this must be the famous Castiel!" Ellen spoke as she took a hug from Dean and a hand shake from Cas.  
"Yes ma'am" Cas said a little shakily.  
Jo made her way back into the hallway before her mom could start asking Cas questions.  
"Jo!" Dean said happily and made his way over to her, he hugged her tightly and then looked down at her, "you're growing up so fast..." Dean said then he mimed wiping a tear from his eye.  
Jo rolled her eyes, "you know you're only three years older than me right?!" She said indignantly. Dean smiled and they hugged again.  
Meanwhile Ellen was questioning Cas, "so, you got a job?" She took a step closer to Cas.  
"Yes ma'am" he said stepping back slightly.  
"What do you do?" She asked.  
"I'm afraid I don't understand the question." Cas stated uneasily.  
"For your job? What do you do...?” She asked again, her tone still as sweet as ever, if not a little pushy.  
"I must keep him safe." Cas stared at Ellen, although she was shorter than him he felt like a mouse in front of a lion.  
"Right, and how's this whole angel thing work? You look normal to me. Aren't you supposed to have wings or something?" Ellen's tone changed a bit into more of a forceful one.  
"W-well," Cas stammered, "this is not my true form, and this body you see before you is of a vessel."  
"Oh so you're stealing another's body?" Ellen sounded slightly disapproving.  
"Well no ma'am, I asked permission to use this body, and in fact the man who used this body is long since dead, I am keeping it fresh and healed, and the body itself is still alive, but without me it holds no occupant." Cas became slightly more assertive as he spoke, he wasn't going to have Dean's only mother figure thinking he was some lowly body snatcher, he remembered Jimmy, he was so willing, he was dying anyway as he put it.  
"Mom?!" Jo called from the kitchen, Ellen smiled and patted Cas's arm, "if Dean thinks you're good enough for him, then that's good enough for me." She squeezed his arm and then walked away.  
Dean approached Cas, "so how'd it go?" He asked worriedly.  
"I have stood up to Lucifer himself, but she still scares me..." Cas said with a smile on his face, but still a little shakily. Dean laughed and set his hand on Cas's shoulder, "that means she's testing to see if you're strong, you gotta stand up to her, mind you, not rudely, but you can't stand back. Plus once you get to know her you'll love her, I promise." Cas nodded and then followed Dean into the kitchen. They all stood around talking and laughing. They talked about the good-old-days and the days that were here.  
"So how's school going for you boys?" Ellen asked.  
"Sammy's doing great; I don't know how he does it, almost all one hundred percents!" Dean said looking like a proud parent. "And I'm doin' fine myself, not failing my classes."  
Ellen kissed Dean's cheek, "you really ought to give yourself more credit hun." She turned to Sam, "so Mr. Genius," she said with a wink, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  
Sam looked slightly taken aback, no one had ever asked that before other than Dean when they would stay up all night together, he smiled at the memories that flooded him and then allowed the word to slide graciously over his tongue, "a lawyer."  
"Wow!" Said Ellen, obviously impressed, "that's gonna take some dedication, but I'm sure you can do it!"  
Sam smiled and nodded.  
All at once the world changed.  
The room filled with light and a piercing noise was heard throughout the house, "no!" yelled Castiel, "please brother, don't do this! Fine take me, but leave them." Cas reached out to Dean, Dean grabbed Cas's hand.  
"I love you." They both said at the same time.  
"Please don't go!" Dean yelled.  
Cas looked into Dean's eyes, he smiled a little through the tears that were gathering and then he was gone.  
The light was gone.  
The shaking was gone.  
Dean fell to his knees, he sat there shakily for a few moments, tears were slowly running down his cheeks. "Cas?" He said in the smallest voice he could muster. But Cas was nowhere to be seen. Ellen put a hand on Dean's shoulder and helped him up.  
"Babe, your hand's burned; let me help you with that." She said and tried to persuade him over to the sink.  
"No." Dean said wiping the tears from his face, "there's no time." He stated.  
"Dean." Sam said quietly. Dean looked over at his brother, he looked a little pale but he still looked strongly into his brother's eyes. "Dean you know it was the angels who took him. There's nothing you can do now, Cas's taken."  
Dean looked around him; all the faces in the room were turned to him. He sighed and allowed Ellen to take care of his burns from holding Castiel's hand when he was taken.  
That night Ellen and Jo decided to stay. It was quiet in the house; Dean hugged everyone good-night then he walked up to his room. Once he closed the door he did not fall apart, no matter how much he wanted to. He had a job to do, he kneeled at the edge of his bed, "Castiel, I'm not sure if you can hear me, or even if this whole prayer thing really works. But if you can hear me, know this. If I find anything, anything, that could lead me to you, I will find you. Please try to stay safe, I- I need you Cas. Please. I love you."  
"That was nice." Came a voice from behind him, he spun around surprised. Jo stood in the doorway with a sympathetic smile on her face. Dean tried to wipe the tears from his eyes but they just kept coming. Jo walked over to him and sat down on his bed. She leaned down and hugged him, "it's gonna be okay, we're gonna find him. I promise." She whispered into his ear.  
"I just don't know what I'll do without him." Dean said as the tears cascaded down his cheeks, he was sobbing and he didn't care anymore. He took his breaths in bursts and shakily exhaled through a sob. Jo held him closer and slowly rocked him slightly. Dean was simply lost without Cas.


	12. Is It You?

Two months went by, it was the slowest two months Dean had ever lived. He prayed and cried himself to sleep every night, normally things like this didn't affect him in this way, his grades slowly dropped and eventually he stopped getting up to go to school. He lay in bed drenched in dried up salty tears. He had given up. Usually he had John to force him out of bed, to make him forget about the pain of loss through a much worse physical pain. But now he had no one.  
Bobby entered his room, "Dean. I really must insist that you get up and out of that bed son."  
"What's the point? Have you found anything?" Dean asked through a dry and cracking voice.  
"No." Bobby sighed, "but I have something to show you." Dean looked into Bobby's eyes, they were pleading and worried. Dean sighed and forced himself to get up.  
Bobby smiled and helped Dean out of his room, Dean hadn't noticed how much not eating was affecting him. They slowly made their way down the stairs and Dean found that the house was full of people, "what's going on?" He asked quietly.  
Ellen stepped forward, "we're here to help Dean. We know that this is hard for you, you just lost your father and had to deal with that quickly, and now you lose the man you love. We know. But it's time to stop this; Bobby says that you're not eating and that you haven't moved from bed in five days." Dean was shaking slightly, and Bobby helped him down into a chair. "I know that it feels like Castiel was the only good thing to happen to you on your life, I know that he made you feel better about yourself and who you are, but you've got to find a way around that, you got to find a way to see yourself in his eyes again."  
Dean sighed shakily, he wanted to cry, he wanted to run and hide in his room again, to lock himself in the closet like he did when- Dean squeezed his eyes shut. He opened them and found that everyone was looking at him. He made a decision, "you're right. I need to move on, and I'm trying, I really am. I'll go to school tomorrow, I'll get my grades back up, and I’ll find a way to get better."  
Ellen stared him down, "Dean Winchester you do not lie to me. I know that you're capable of that, I know that you can force all your feelings back, but don't you dare this time." Dean swallowed, no one ever saw through that.  
Throughout the day everyone stayed, Rufus, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Sam, and many more.  
Ellen had cooked a bunch of food and everyone ate and talked and tried to comfort Dean. Dean felt as if he was put on a pedestal, but not only that, it was as if he was transparent, everyone could see through him and see what he was feeling. He hated it. He wished something could happen and save him from this. Ellen and Jo forced Dean to eat some casserole and potato salad. Rufus told him that he had felt this pain before, but one must learn to forgive and forget. Then he proceeded to say that it was impossible to truly forgive or forget so he might as well just pretend while he can. Sam sat with Dean all day. He was silent for the most part and looked like he was regretting his choice of seat half the day. When there was finally a moment of peace for Dean he turned to Sam. "Hey, I'm- I’m really sorry Sammy." He said quietly.  
Sam looked up at him, "sorry? Why would you be sorry? I'm the one who couldn't do anything to help his brother through any of this." Sam pushed his face into his arms which were crossed around his knees.  
Dean looked down at him surprised, "what? No, I pushed you away, I have you no chance to help, and I am the one who's sorry because I haven't been the big brother that you need. I haven't been there for you at all."  
Sam almost laughed, "I guess we're both feeling guilty for not being there for each other." Dean nodded but before he could get another word out Jo walked over to them.  
"Hey boys? How're you doin?" She asked with a smiled spread across her face, "it's good to see you two are talking. We all have been a bit worried about the lack of communication between you." They both kinda shrugged and Jo sat down.  
"How are you doin' Jo?" Dean asked pleasantly.  
"Oh I'm fine I suppose. We've all been real worried about you you know." She turned to Sam, "and what about you? How are you faring?"  
Sam shrugged, "I'm fine." He stated, not offering any more explanation on the matter.  
"Well good" Jo said, "mom says that we are going to be staying for a few days since it's Friday and all."  
Dean looked up, "Friday?!" He asked incredulously.  
"Yeah? What's the matter?" She asked confused.  
"Damn. That's how Ellen knew I was lying..." He said under his breath.  
Jo laughed a little, "well yeah, that was one give away that everything wasn't just alright." Dean cursed himself under his breath. "Hey, it's alright. You know that right? No one expects you to just be fine after what you've been through, after your dad died, well we knew that you had to be holding everything in. Sam had his nightmares and seein things, but you appeared perfectly fine. Anyways the point is that we all knew that you'd be cracking at some point, it was bound to happen." Jo said definitively.  
Somehow, this didn't make Dean feel any better, but he just smiled and nodded, "yeah, I guess so."  
\---  
That night Dean and Sam sat up talking together. They both were sprawled out on Dean's bed. "Dean? Do you remember when I keep seeing those things in that town we were in when we found out about dad?"  
Dean shifted slightly so that he could look at his brother's face, "yeah?"  
"Well I kept seeing things like that for some time, that's why I stayed in my room, but then I realized that it was just stress." He stated.  
"Why are you telling me this?" Dean asked.  
Sam looked up at his brother, "because I know that you've been seeing Cas at school when you went."  
Dean sat up slightly and his eyes widened, "how'd you know that?" He felt ridiculous for not telling anybody about that, but he just couldn't keep seeing Cas there.  
"Because I'd see you at the lunch table and you'd smile and look up at where Cas used to sit, then all at once you'd blink or something would steal your attention for a moment and you'd look back horrified by the fact that you were seeing things." Sam explained.  
"But how'd you know I was seeing him?" Dean asked incredulously.  
"Because I was seeing dad." Sam said shifting his gaze so that he didn't see his brother's surprised gaze.  
They lay there silently for some time. Dean began to feel tears stripe down his cheeks. He quietly began to sob.  
"Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more." Sam began to sing. Dean smiled and began to hum the guitar solo with his brother. As they sang they moved closer together. Dean's arms wrapped around Sam, and Sam's arms wrapped around him back. This wasn't just some silly gesture, this was Sam realizing that Dean wasn't strong enough to take care of himself at the moment, and now after all those years the tables were turned slightly. Sam began to sing again, "once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion, I was soaring every higher, but I flew too high, though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a madman. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them say, carry on my wayward brother, there'll be peace when we find him, lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more." Dean hugged his brother even tighter. Soon they both fell into a deep sleep.  
\---  
In the morning they were woke up by a flapping of wings, Dean instantly sat up and looked for Cas. There was a strange man standing over them, "who the hell are you?!" Dean asked angrily.  
"Look buddy; if I was going to kill you you'd already be dead. So why don't you stop reaching for that knife?"  
Sam sat up and looked at the man. "You look familiar." He said trying to place where he had seen this man before.  
"Yes, well people usually recognize their guardian angel; your brother must be a whole other level of stupid not to see his for who he truly was." The man said snappily.  
"Wait? You're an angel too." Dean said with hope beginning to fill his voice.  
"That's right lover boy, I know you're precious Castiel. He's a good angel." The man spoke.  
"Then who are you?" Dean asked.  
"Gabriel." Both Sam and the man said that the same time.  
Dean looked at his brother, "I-I'm not sure how I knew that." Sam said before Dean could even get his question out.  
"Hello? Angel. Your angel. Of course you'll know my name." Gabriel said still in that sarcastic tone that Dean was staring to guess was how he always talked.  
"Anyway I came to warn you, they've been doing some pretty weird stuff with Castiel, and I think they're trying to break him. But I got a message today saying that he's being released and that I have to be here to protect you," he said turning to Sam, "in case things go southward."  
"Gabriel, did you just say that Cas is coming back?" Dean asked.  
Gabriel sighed, "first off, call me Gabe. Secondly, yes, but did you hear the other things I said? He could be dangerous."  
Dean nodded his head, "so what do we do?"  
"Well revelation told me that he's coming at ten twenty four exactly. So we've got about ten minutes. You two better get dressed and ready, I'll be waiting for you downstairs." Gabe said and then disappeared in a flap of wings. They both jumped into action and were dressed and down the stairs in three minutes. They found Gabe talking to a spooked Bobby, "tell him who I am!" Gabe said indignantly to Sam.  
"He's my guardian angel." Sam said simply.  
Bobby scoffed, "I've had enough Angels for a month! If you boys need me I'll be in town." He got up and walked out of the house.  
"Man, is he always that grouchy?" Gabe asked and Sam and Dean both shrugged, "okay, is anyone else in the house?"  
Dean almost shook his head then he remembered, "yeah. Ellen and Jo."  
"Great, maybe we should go outside? I don't want to disturb them." Gabe said actually sympathetically. Dean and Sam both nodded and try walked out to the garage. Dean checked his watch, it was time.  
"Alright brother, come out come out wherever you are." Gabe said as he placed himself right behind Sam, he rested his hands on Sam's shoulders and was fully prepared to fly them away in needed.  
Castiel appeared behind Dean, he had an angel blade in his hand and he looked tired and beaten. He tried to stab Dean, but Dean got out of the way to quickly. Cas slumped over and slowly walked over to Dean, "Dean?" He said weakly.  
"Yeah?" Dean said, staying out of arms reach from him, but wanting to be as close as possible.  
"I didn't see you there." He said with a sort of giggle.  
"Cas are you okay? You look a little out of it." Dean said worriedly walking a step closer to Cas.  
Cas giggled again, "me? I'm fine," then he got a very seriously look on his face, "oh god. Are you okay? You're not even in focus!" And with that he collapsed, Dean ran forward and caught his angel before he hit the ground.  
Gabe laughed, "that was the big thing that my superiors wanted me to come down for? Hah... This is ridiculous, okay, get him inside I'll see what I can do." He took a step back from Sam, and released his shoulders. Dean carried him inside, but he still looked worried, "what's the matter bucko?" Gabe asked, "his injuries are nothing, I've got this." He said.  
"But he wasn't himself. He's changed, can- can you fix him." He asked.  
Gabe's smile faded a little, "I can try." Gabe placed his hands in Cas's shoulders and closed his eyes. Dean watched as the wounds that Cas bore seemed to close themselves up. He was being put back together.  
"And that is why they call me the Kings men!" Gabe said with a laugh, but when no one understood he sighed, "because I just put humpty-dumpty back together again." Sam smiled and laughed slightly, but Dean made no move to laugh with them.  
"Thank you, Gabe. Thank you very much." Dean said quietly.  
"Well that's what I'm here for." Then he turned back to Sam, "hey, don't you forget me okay? If you ever need something just call," and with a wink he disappeared.  
\---  
Two hours later everyone was gathered around Castiel. He hadn't moved yet and Dean was worried that he never would again. He sat there all day and all night. After everyone else had gone to sleep he remained. "Cas, please. Please wake up. I need to see those perfect blue eyes again. Castiel." He said it again, this time allowing each syllable to hold its own weight in his mouth, "Ca-sti-el" it was the most perfect name he had ever heard, and it was oh-so familiar. When he had heard it he had known right away that this was the man he would love for the rest of his life.  
"De-an" came a weak voice, breaking him of the memories and back to real life. Dean looked down at his broken angel, the tears began to rush down his cheeks and Cas lifted a weak hand to push them away.  
Dean took a deep breath; he wanted to kiss Cas more than he ever had before, but he had to be sure, "Is it you Cas?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last formal chapter of the story, but if you want to know the ending then continue.


	13. Epilogue

Cas soon returned back to normal, and told Dean that the Angels had tried to force him to stop dating Dean, but he refused. Eventually he was released when they figured out there was nothing that they could do to change his mind. Dean married Cas right after his eighteenth birthday, as Dean's life found its way back to the path it was always meant to take only a few things changed because of this, Cas was there for him every step of the way. Cas healed him when he was injured, and through all the losses that he suffered Dean always had Cas. After Bobby was killed Cas protected Singer Auto from invasion and it was eventually granted eternal salvation and protection from the Angels as a safe haven for anyone who needed rescue. Cas and Dean lived there for their entire lives. They adopted a small boy that they named 'Sam Gabriel Winchester' after their brothers who they both owed their lives to. This boy grew up happy and learned to be a hunter on the side of wherever his life took him. Sam Gabriel eventually became a mechanic just like his dad, and once Dean died of cancer at the age of eighty five, he and Cas worked to keep Singer Auto going and to keep the world safe. Once Dean had died he and Cas would take long walks through their friend's heavens. They kept in close touch with everyone and lived together happily for eternity.  
Sam got a full ride to Stanford and soon became a great lawyer, he married his college-sweet heart Jessica, but when she died at only forty six he never remarried and found solace only in talking with his guardian angel. He spent a lot of time working cases with Dean, Cas, and eventually Sam Gabriel, and spent the rest of his time working as a lawyer. He was very happy with his life and when he died he moved in with Gabriel.  
Jo went on to marry a hunter by the name of Garth and they lived a great life hunting and taking care of the Roadhouse.  
Bobby and Ellen started dating after they both died young in the field of battle, and soon got married.  
(And as Cas predicted, Mr. Jensen and Ms. Collins got married soon after that school year had ended.)


End file.
